Sexual One

The Sexual One had the strongest identification with Four. They felt the need to have the perfect mate, and the idealized relationship. The Sexual Ones went on to explain that the sanctity of having perfect love gave a real sense of brilliance, aliveness, and freedom. However, any violation to an intimate relationship was devastating, generating the white hot heat of humiliation and feeling of despair. The Sexual Ones saw themselves as more powerful than the other Ones describing an Eight like accessibility to anger when they knew they were right or felt violated. They tended to demonstrate a feeling of being cleansed and freed alongside the expression of repressed anger. They tended to respond towards relationships with the belief that they were hopelessly flawed, imperfect, or unworthy of the other, who was idealized and seen as attaining a degree of perfection that was seen as inaccessible; this strategy is the source of insecurity, jealousy, and possessiveness. They can sometimes be supportive, forgiving, and sometimes forbearing, playful, and patient with the other.

Social One

The Social One focused on the group as an opportunity to express and share a vision. Initially they would join a group to have this vision manifest. Nevertheless when they were in the group they would start self-limiting for fear of making an error or saying something wrong. They described a conflict of feeling restricted by the group and resentment that their vision was still unexpressed. The frustration surfaced when the idea of having an opportunity to share their ideals, wisdom, and vision had to be negated to comply and belong to the group. They had a strong need to support and enforce the rules for the greater good of everyone.

Self-Preservational One

The Self-Preservational One in particualr had an issue with the use of the word catastrophe in any place associated with one. When interviewed the Ones explained that to use the word inferred that they had not prepared and to be unprepared would be totally unacceptable. When asked what word they would prefer the answer was "consequence." They explained that the distinction was that a consequence was something that they could manage and often was unavoidable, whereas catastrophes transpire as the result of a lack of preparation. They added that they would prefer consequences because they did not show that they had done anything wrong. They tended to adopt the belief that contradictory feedback was "wrong" in order to validate their personal sense of self as "right." When their security was threatened, they exhibited a degree of worry and anxiety based on the expectation of the consequences of making a mistake or incurring unforeseen consequences of a deliberate action. The internal conflict over their sense of security was tied to their sense of doing the right thing, rather than worrying about their personal safety; they saw themselves as selling themselves out their morality for self-protection, which caused anxiety and repression of anger.

Sexual Two

The Sexual Two wanted the community to know that when they alter to be what the other wants the price for them is very high. They described the dilemma of wanting the love of the other, altering to meet the other's needs and then fearing they will reject them if they express their own needs and who they really are. They explained that their gift was in knowing the needs and interests of the other and the ability to draw out the desirable traits within them to please the other. Their strategy is to entice the other by focusing on them and then slowly drawing the other into their own interests and needs. The pain surfaces when the other doesn't take an interest in them and misses the clues to their repressed unmet needs and desires. They feel that they must be the object of the mate's desire to feel loved, and can ooze charm and intimacy. When they know what they want, they can be rather pushy and demanding. They intuitively kknow who will respond to them and then indirectly try to lure their attention; in a class setting, they determine the interests of the one they wish to attract and then ask the instructor a question that would be of interest to the one they wish to draw in. Their desire is to match interests, seductively involving intimate others into their own interests, creating a sense of wholeness and euphoria. Maintaining a broad sense of interests can be a way for them to stay connected to intimates. They attach only when loved and bolt for freedom when the feeling passes, and know how to hide neediness behind giving.

Social Two

The Social Twos did not identify with the stereotype of the "chicken soup Two." They explained that they would be socially appropriate, but felt that what was more significant and instrumental to their identity was that they connected people who needed one another. The role they identified with instead was the master networker, and a collector of people. For example, if an individual in one field is in need of someone in another, the Two would bring them together. However, there is always the desire for fair exchange and the hope that they will consider them. The Twos felt that this might be the modern day business expression of the social "chicken soup" Two of past generations. They may seek prestige through hostessing, and can seem seductive to others by way of their achievements. They may develop an extensive chain of social connections to help them be at the center of things. They may use a lot of the sexual instinct to further the ends of their social component. Pride in these Twos comes from developing their social connections and supporting others.

comment: strong emphasis on 2w3

Self-Preservational Two

The Self-Preservational Twos wanted to stress their concern about the definition of "Me First" and "Privelige." They wanted to add that they didn't want to take anything from anyone and wanted everyone to have their needs met. They fet that the language of "Me First" gave the impression that they only cared for themselves and that others didn't matter. The Twos felt that it was important to note that "Me First" was due to a childlike fear of not being able to get themselves the essentials of life. They said it was not an adult "Me First" but rather the doubt and insecurity of a child. These Twos have a need to see others help them ensure that their needs are met, but feel that to ask was to risk being denied, and so adopted the strategy of thinking of themselves as "entitled" in order to ensure their own security.

comment: in my opinion, this seems like a very poor description and frankly misses the point about how 2ness comes through with the sp attitude. this description doesn't sound like a 2 at all. i tend to think the R&H one is much better.

Sexual Three

The Seuxal Three wanted to share that their anxiety surfaces if anything mirrors back to them that they are not perfect, explaining that "If I am not perfect I am nothing." When asked whether it was their feelings, values, or appearance that they sought to perfect, the response was "Everything, I must be perfect, a perfect example of whatever it is my boyfriend, my parents, my friends, and my boss want me to be; the problem isthat I can't be all the different roles simultaneously." The stress of feeling that they must be the ideal male or female of our society and yet still be the perfect (child, lover, spouse, parent, employee, etc.) with values different from one's own is difficult to reconcile, creating tremendous agony. Their idealized sexual image conceals an insecurity regarding intimacy, and a strong need to have a prestigiuous, desirable, and highly-sought-after partner.

Social Three

The Social Three felt an incredible responsibility to adapt and compromise themselves to fit in. Secretly they had an incredible desire to assert themselves, but they constantly held their desire for assertion in check to maintain social standards of appropriateness. The Social Three described this as a dance of "I need to be aggressive and assertive while also meeting the standards of my community." They further explained that this pressure is so strong that anxiety surfaces and is difficult to maintain. They felt the need for status and for socially accepted symbols of success in order to verify that they were safe from criticism. They tended to reject their own tastes in favor of designer brand names, to affirm their own social status. Their sense of self-efficacy was important to them, and their attention was often focused on the quality of their work and the degree of recognition they had received for performance ability, etc.

Self-Preservational Three

The Self-Preservational Three strongly indentified with the word "scarcity." They explained that their fear of scarcity was the cause of their hidden anxiety. They added that their anxiety was so great that they would do anything to ensure freedom from risk. As with all Threes, the issue of status was still important, but it was more about having the socially respected resources, in particular, having an image that reflected both status and security. They explained that their need was of accumulating tokens of success to verify to them and others that they were secure. They generally had a strong drive to acquire possessions of affluence to feel secure.

Sexual Four

The Sexual Four felt underrepresented in the literature on Fours. Most of them in some way felt outwardly very confident. They still identified with the dichotomy of dropping downward and feeling inadequate. They described having a passion for protest but explained that it was internal angry envy expressed outwardly, covering a hidden fear of losing that which they desired. They hated anyone or anything that triggered their inadequacy or envy, however, the deeper meaning was that they would rather have your hatred rather than your indifference as it showed that you still cared, and they could still affect you. The Sexual Fours also added that the high side of entitlement was their acceptance and support of everyone's unalienable right to express their individuality and needs. Sexual Fours expressed a need to recreate a familiar sense of loss to reconnect with the feeling of lost love. They explained that nothing stimulated them like falling in love anew, and sought out the sensation.

Social Four

The Social Four felt that their shame was hidden because it pertained to a way in which or where they were reared. They felt that they were always trying to be socially one level above where they felt they truly belonged. When they finally achieved the level they had longed for it was still not enough, so they had to strive to be at the next level, and so on. They described a never-ending pressure to be more while feeling that they were still not enough, and fearing that someone would find out how humble their beginnings really were. The ongoing dilemma was how they might belong and conform while still being unique. They felt that social situations were a dance between being charming and shameful, and the feeling of shame in not measuring up to objective standards was a constant fear, but that this was constantly in opposition to feelings of personal superiority and success. They often had low self-esteem and felt that god had given others what he had not given to them. They described how they went into defensive mode in working situations and tried to cover up their inefficacy and incompetence. However, they also had a drive towards achieving to prove others wrong, and sought revenge on those that didn't believe in them.

comment: distinct emphasis on 4w3, perhaps even more of a picture of 3w4

Self-Preservational Four

The most significant thing about the Self-Preservational Four was their identification with being self-contained, counter-dependent, and self-devouring. Rather than just criticizing themselves, they tore themselves apart, explaining that they weren't striving to improve themselves like the One. Instead, they need to preserve something that was concretely beautiful that they could manifest materially or concretely. Many were fine artists or crafts people, and while others might admire their work, the Self-Preserving Fours would know every flaw they had made and still feel inadequate, ultimately fearing that whatever they had created would be inherently flawed. The attention of Self-Preservational Fours can go to the essential needs in relationship to image; for example, the temperature of the room, will I be too hot and perspire, should I loosen my belt to be more comfortable, are the lights too bright and harsh, should I close the windows, will the outside sounds be too distracting, etc.

comment: i think this is rather bad, should put less emphasis on material creation and probably more emphasis on self-sufficiency and isolation

Sexual Five

The Sexual Five focused on their intense desire for the idealized mate. They wanted to add that when they finally found the perfect mate, the felt incredibly tied to the "idea" of their love and became a slave to that love. They also described a conflict in holding the ideal and identifying with their own imprefection of being human, fearing that their human components might contaminate their love. "For people are not ideal and people can contaminate love." One example how they coped with this contradiction in terms was to hold the love in their mind or imagination where it could remain untainted. Another was to express love nonverbally with their body describing a deep, intense, wordless connection. They expressed the viewpoint that a shared intimacy is treasured and kept locked away to be experienced and revisited privately. They had difficulty trusting anyone totally, though they described what a relief it would be to do so. Expressing love for Sexual Fives was often difficult, embarrassing, blinding, and controlling. They tended to emphasize nonverbal connection and sexual expression, describing that the greatest intimacy is a complete wordless understanding, though they sometimes had difficulty understanding both verbal and nonverbal, as well as physical ways of relating (summarized; lot of contradictory information?). They both sought total merging, yet were simultaneously terrified of it. They emphasized the issue of trust, sometimes trusting people at a distance but becoming reserved and closed off when they came nearer, emphasizing the need to protect themselves and to keep secrets from their intimates. They felt that intimate family members were threatening and made the greatest demands of all. In general, Sexual Fives were characterized by brief periods of intense connection and reclusive secrecy.

Social Five

The Social Five wanted to explain the difficulties of having strong tendencies towards isolation and antisocial behavior while still craving social connections. They explained that it conflicts with the need to withdraw from the world. Many of them stated that they handled this dilemma by being in small, elite groups; however, they felt torn between wanting to belong to the group while simultaneously feeling burdened by the responsibility. They described feeling the constant tug back and forth between wanting to connect with the group and at the same time to move away. They can appear haughty and condescending, sometimes stating the obvious. They tended to feel that knowledge is power, and forewarned is forearmed.

Self-Preservational Five

The Self-Preservational Five explained that the need to isolate and reduce needs is due to the fear of not having enough personal resoruces or otherwise to give back. The strategy to require very little, to "hold in and hold on," was the simplest way to survive, for if they did receive something there would be an expectation to reciprocate. Therefore, they would rather have very few things to deal with that could control them. However, to go without and still desire the good things in life tormented them. They shared that they felt sad and deprived forgoing some of life's greatest pleasures to have freedom from the constriction and needs of others. They embodied the idea that "my home is my sanctuary," a place away from noise and pressure and needed a great deal of separate, private, personal space. They wanted to minimize all of their entanglements and obligations, but became involved in a cycle of boredom and wanting to recreate involvements and make commitments.

Sexual Six

The Sexual Six identified with the counterphobic reaction of going into their fear and saw themselves as the "proof junkie." Many introverted Sexual Sixes felt more phobic until puberty. They stated that even an inanimate object could taunt them. For example, one Six mountain climber explained that the dangerous edge of a mountain could feel intimidating while provoking him, as if to say "you can't do it." He might put himself at risk and peril to prove that he could. Another example from a female Sexual Six was her doubt of being able to attract the most unavailable man and the challenge of proving to herself that she could. The issue is that anything that triggers fear could taunt them and provoke them to take the challenge. A doubt about actual strength or beauty tended to be compensated for by an overemphasis in both. They were less likely to conform to the styles of their peers, but still felt a need to be "in fashion." They felt powerful when they felt attractive, and felt that putting on a confident appearance could effectively mask their public fears.

Social Six

The Social Six strongly identified with being dutiful, but wished to highlight the dilemma of feeling caught between phobic and counterphobic. They felt that, depending on the situation, they could express either behavior and often felt frozen between the two. Of the sixes, they had the most difficulty selecting their subtype. Their strategy was to find systems of reference, some form of authority outside them to deal with doubt. They determined that fear surfaced in groups where the need for rules and procedures are necessary for order and consensus. In simple terms, the Social Six stated that "as long as the person in power uses their power fairly, I am compliant, because it is in the best interest of the group, but if for any reason I feel that the authority is not trustworthy I rebel and get others to rebel. Social Sixes expressed that they might be disloyal to some in order to be loyal to the group; they expressed the belief that groups are frequently a more effective to influence and have power over the greater world than individuals acting alone. They expressed the desire to challenge rules and authority when they were not in the best interest of the collective welfare, and liked playing the role of devil's advocate in the group's decisions. To the Social Six, anger in conjunction with fear can be paralyzing.

Self-Preservational Six

The Self-Preservational Six identified with being affectionate; however, to be fair, they also shared that they can also be very rejecting. They explanation was the process they used to overcome feeling phobic; initially, they were warmly engaging as they assessed the motive of others in an attempt to alleviate their own fears. If they received warmth in return they felt safe; however, if form any reason others were not equally warm and responsive, Self-Preservational Sixes felt danger and turned towards rejection. Besides their own rejection, they also required outside validation and would seek others that shared their concerns in order to hold their fears in check. Sadly, this made their worlds feel very small. They expressed that they hated how obvious their insecurity was to everyone, that they caved so easily, and projected that everyone was aware of their internal anxiety.

comment: all three of the six descriptions are essentially antithetical to my understanding of sixes, which is not uncommon in enneagram literature

Sexual Seven

The Sexual Seven identified with magical thinking and idealizing love. Many were uncomfortable with the attitude that the Sexual Seven is unfaithful and does not commit. In fact, most felt that they do commit, but need ongoing interests, stimulation, and variety to satisfy their need for fascination. They described themselves as masters at finding ways to avoid boredom. They felt that when they were less aware this was more problematic. They also felt that due to their tendency to conceive of their partner as the ideal, like-minded soul mate and their ability to reframe negative experiences into positive ones, they might stay in an unhealthy relationship for too long, and often tended to see too much of the silver lining of a situation. They described the feeling of becoming intoxicated, only to later feel sobered by reality in relationships. They expressed that sometimes they can fear trapped by commitment, questioning whether they would feel the same way in the future.

Social Seven

The Social Seven saw themself as socially unconventional, but identified with the willingness to be of service in exchange for recognition. First and foremost, they identified with being intensely curious and "dedicated to abstraction." They explained that their energy goes to "thinking about the abstraction, telling others about, and learning more about it in order to teach about it. They saw their gift as the ability to synthesize the data and squeeze the boredom out of it." In addition, they saw themselves as hardworking, and found that they danced a delicate line between their need for attention from the group and their need for independence and individuality. They described the feeling of making commitments and fostering a good plan, only to be later trapped by expectations. They were willing to sacrifice their own experiences so that the group might have fun.

Self-Preservational Seven

The Self-Preservational Seven identified with the Eight wing and went after what they wanted. They attention to the staples of life was automatically taken care of with variety and plenty of options. One example given was that the "perfect meal is an exotic buffet, where there are variety, abundance, and value without limits!" They took exception to being thought of as a party animal, though they did concede that this was probably true but it was not their own internal experience. They stated that "their gift is their ability to nature and care for their own," feeling it was important to share the tremendous pressure they felt to entertain and be entertaining. They also added that it gives them joy to see everyone happy and make their dreams come true. They identified with enjoying the "planning" part of adding to collections. They also felt a need to primarily associate with like-minded others to ensure their needs are met, and to be perpetually entertained and entertaining.

Sexual Eight

The Sexual Eights felt underrepresented in most descriptions of Eight. They saw themselves as very devoted to those they loved and desired equality in relationships; someone that could match them, stand up to them, and more importantly for them, so that they could surrender control. "If I can control someone, they are weak, I can't count on anyone that is weak." They did, however, understand that their partners might feel overly controlled. They explained that they felt they had surrendered to the person that they loved, and therefore were at their mercy. For the Eight to share anything of intimacy is to make themselves incredibly vulnerable, and to give anyone the power to hurt them with it is potentially devastating. They described a desire for equality in intimate relationsips to be able to give up control; someone strong enough to push up against, who can stand firm, withstand the anger, and allow the hidden vulnerability to emerge. For eights, intimacy is about feeling safe enough to freely surrender control by freely possessing the love of their mate. They can be provoked by unspoken messages, as threats to their own sense of trust and intimacy towards others. They further added how incongruent it felt to simultaneously need autonomy and connection. For how does one stay connected and remain autonomous?

Social Eight

The Social Eight felt in groups as though they were too much and too loud. They saw themselves as more Two-like and felt the need to clamp down on their energy so as not to offend others, which felt very restricting. They described it as akin to being in a trash compactor. It went against their core because it felt like pretense, but the need to belong to the group was still great. The Social Eight also described survival through friendship. "I must have people I can count on to survive, so I am going to collect resourceful people." Further stating, they have many strategic alliances to ensure their survival. The basic fear of the Social Eight is to have their intentions misconstrued in a group setting, and they desire respect and recognition within the group. They tended to seek companionship with "equals or co-conspirators" who do not have to be directly taken care of. They described that they would often leap to the defense of a friend they feel has been wronged. They described themselves as being in an uneasy balance between behaving in a socially appropriate manner yet still demonstrating noncompliance and autonomy.

comment: this seems like a really good picture of this variant subtype

Self-Preservational Eight

The Self-Preservational Eight wanted to clarify that "no one knows I am around unless you step on my toes." They felt an affinity with Five and expressed a strong desire for privacy. They described their main issue as "do not try to control me." It is not unlike Five, as the tendency is to be more reserved and observe, unless anything in their territory is challenged. Then "you wake a sleeping bear, claws and all" shifting from one extreme to the other; "the warrior ready for battle." This need for Five-like privacy is a fear of being limited and controlled. They often feel empowered by their experiences of success at survival. They have a passion for privacy, personal space, free of intrusions, where they are not at the mercy of others.

comment: i think katherine chernick fauvre's pictures of eights are far, far better than some of her other types. no accident?

Sexual Nine

The Sexual Nine wanted to explain the experience of merging. They felt it was important to note that it happens automatically, without their conscious intent, and as they become the other, their tension dissolves. It is only through merging with others that they can begin to discover who they are and what they desire. First they merge and then they begin to say "me, not me." It is only through the process of union that they can find out what is "not me" and can discover "me." They can fight for loved ones as compliments and insults directed towards those with whom they have merged are felt as if directed towards them. They described that they often feel a sense of their own self only around the desired other, though when around the other, they have difficulty determining where the self ends and the other begins. They discussed that time alone was necessary to discover themselves (what? contradictory?). They can contain the energy of their intimates wholly and totally, and continue merging until there is some invalidation of their bond.

Social Nine

Social Nines did not feel slothful and often identified with Threes because they were very busy and constantly on the go with lots of activity. However, they described their energy as dispersed and diffuse without being focused on a single goal. Some felt that they were workaholics and didn't sleep much at all. The more extroverted Social Nines stated that they belonged to groups to find themselves through connection and shared interests through others. Nevertheless, they were reluctant to take on too much responsibility to avoid conflict. They would rather be a member of the Board of Directors than directly in charge. The Social Nine felt directly connected to everything. They were torn between a desire to participate and a need to be free of responsibility, and their interests were often diverse and spread out across many areas. They were sometimes very active in groups or causes.

Self-Preservational Nine

The Self-Preservational Nine wanted this study to reveal that they feel much stronger than we have described them, as they do not go without their essential needs in life. They did, however, explain that they were unusually unwilling to be in conflict to have their needs met. They stated that they would say "okay" and then privately make sure they got whatever it was they wanted, describing this as the power of patience, perseverance, and resistance. Many of them were reluctant to share this aspect of their survival strategy because it went against their image of being the kind and loving peacemaker. Nevertheless, they wanted to break the stereotype of being perceived as the non-person, clarifying that outwardly they may be soft but on the inside they were hard as nails. When they felt that their appetites (needs?) would not be satiated, they tended to focus on feelings of fear and doubt about their needs ever being met. They tended to value the belief that the value of life existed in the real world, and that whatever was of value to them had to take on a tangible form. They often are very placid and go along with the program, while sometimes being invasive, overwhelming through good intentions, and making sure that all their needs are met somehow or other before taking any other action. They also talked a lot, and may talk to fill a void (?).